Browns punter stars in the most absurd local commercial that you’ll ever see

NFL players should probably just stop making commercials for the rest of time, because there’s no way they’re ever going to top the one that was recently made by Browns punter Britton Colquitt. 

In a 59-second ad for a solar power company, Colquitt basically set the new standard for all athlete commercials going forward. I know that you’re thinking, and yes, I was also somewhat surprised to learn that solar power companies exist in sunless Cleveland, but they do, and they make fantastic commercials. 

This ad has everything you could ever want out of a commercial starring an NFL punter: bad dancing, bad dialogue, a child somehow saving money on his energy bill, and in a twist you won’t see coming, there’s also a talking dog. 

Without further adieu, here’s the ad from Power Home Solar. Please make sure you watch the entire thing. 

I know you have plenty of questions and so do I. I mean, GOOD GRIEF, are things so bad in Cleveland that children are now being forced to pay the bills? Poor Christian. 

Second, I would expect that Solar Dog is going to be getting a call from the FCC soon, because I’m not so sure that he’s going to be able to substantiate those wild claims that he made in this ad. 

Solar Dog may tell me I can become a good dancer, but I don’t care how many solar panels I put on my roof, nothing will ever make me a good dancer. Solar Dog is selling lies. On the other hand, adding a talking dog to the commercial out of nowhere was brilliant and all commercials would be wise to do this going forward. 

Finally, let’s all hope this story ends with Colquitt and Solar Dog getting their own TV show, and if that can’t happen, I would be happy with them starring in a “Turner and Hooch” sequel. 

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